Dear Friends,
So, I thought I had written what could potentially be my last e-mail. Next I started calling around my friends to bid them bye. And one of them, namely, Sarath, in LaPlace, LA, changed my mind, through very gentle persuasion. As a result, I'll not be leaving town tomorrow for the extreme location that I had in mind, disclosed only to a dozen friends, and bought a bus ticket yesterday for. Instead, possibly in about 2 weeks, I shall head for the South, to spend up to a few months. I still have to talk to some of my friends there, and figure out the details. At this point, I'm so embarrassed that I'm not going send a revised e-mail. Instead, I'd let this be known to the friends who call or e-mail. Thanks a lot for bearing with me! Still it's not over, but this should give time to some friends' efforts on my behalf.
Thursday, May 1, 2008
Tuesday, April 22, 2008
Lament not for me but for this world
Dear Friends,
In just over a week, I plan to retreat as I mentioned previously. Some concerned friends of mine are trying alternate approaches to Sweden on their own, but I doubt of any breakthrough; most likely, it will be too little, too late.
A week ago, I had an interesting and soul-searching conversation over lunch with Araxie, the daughter of a survivor of the World War I Armenian Genocide. As several interesting issues, some of which have been raised by others over the years and had been thought about and responded to by me, all occurred during this conversation, I thought I should mention those here:
Araxie recalled how while growing up as a refugee in Lebanon, they found comfort in being together with their families. I was glad to hear that. While ethnic refugees are able to get on with their lives thru’ such extended support systems of peers, it’s much harder for a political refugee with a strong conscience to relate to a land with a diametrically opposite political profile.
Mention was made of several of her American friends who work marginally as tax protesters. Such a life style has no appeal to me for many reasons:
- I have no birth, family or other connection to this country, that I would have to somehow find a way to tolerate or attempt to change this;
- I prefer not to break the laws (tax laws included). There are many people who enjoy breaking laws for the sake of protest; I’m not one;
- I wish & dream to live my life to the fullest where my heart is; not marginally elsewhere.
Lastly, she lamented that I’ve been doing good things for others but not for myself. I disagreed, and pointed out that as much as I do the best for the others, I wouldn’t want to settle for anything less than the best for my heart & soul, and hence I keep holding on.
Even while being homeless and sleep-deprived I still find time and mind to do good to others. Indeed, today I donated blood for the 50th time (38 in NYC, 8 in Seattle, 4 in New Orleans).
If the world could be at least half as generous to me as I’m to it, then instead of writing these, I’d be doing something much more beneficial for me, my family & the world. Lament not for me but for this world.
In just over a week, I plan to retreat as I mentioned previously. Some concerned friends of mine are trying alternate approaches to Sweden on their own, but I doubt of any breakthrough; most likely, it will be too little, too late.
A week ago, I had an interesting and soul-searching conversation over lunch with Araxie, the daughter of a survivor of the World War I Armenian Genocide. As several interesting issues, some of which have been raised by others over the years and had been thought about and responded to by me, all occurred during this conversation, I thought I should mention those here:
Araxie recalled how while growing up as a refugee in Lebanon, they found comfort in being together with their families. I was glad to hear that. While ethnic refugees are able to get on with their lives thru’ such extended support systems of peers, it’s much harder for a political refugee with a strong conscience to relate to a land with a diametrically opposite political profile.
Mention was made of several of her American friends who work marginally as tax protesters. Such a life style has no appeal to me for many reasons:
- I have no birth, family or other connection to this country, that I would have to somehow find a way to tolerate or attempt to change this;
- I prefer not to break the laws (tax laws included). There are many people who enjoy breaking laws for the sake of protest; I’m not one;
- I wish & dream to live my life to the fullest where my heart is; not marginally elsewhere.
Lastly, she lamented that I’ve been doing good things for others but not for myself. I disagreed, and pointed out that as much as I do the best for the others, I wouldn’t want to settle for anything less than the best for my heart & soul, and hence I keep holding on.
Even while being homeless and sleep-deprived I still find time and mind to do good to others. Indeed, today I donated blood for the 50th time (38 in NYC, 8 in Seattle, 4 in New Orleans).
If the world could be at least half as generous to me as I’m to it, then instead of writing these, I’d be doing something much more beneficial for me, my family & the world. Lament not for me but for this world.
Friday, April 4, 2008
Many changes, some upcoming
Hi Friends,
Sorry that I hadn't updated you in a few weeks. There were many changes, but I didn't have the time or the mind to write.
My 3-week resident volunteer stint with a group of nuns expired (as agreed) over 2 weeks ago. Since then I have been staying basically with a different friend each night. On some nights I had to spend several hours riding the Subway trains, as many homeless people here do. I have utilized this need of mine to visit many friends whom I had not visited in a while, and attended to repairing & cleaning of their computers etc. So, it has been mutually productive. Lately, the sleeping arrangements have become smoother thanks to a couple of friends who have openly welcomed me. Some have done so by overstepping their authority on the spaces that are in their custody. I sure hope & pray that no one would have to lie to help me.
Since doing so would stand in the way of helping the many friends and charities that I wish to help, I have decided not to stay in one place anyway. However, this is not an existence that I'm happily looking forward to. As some of my friends have particular technical needs from me, I plan to spend the next 3 or so weeks helping them.
Afterwards, I hope to resume my fast, possibly as a total "no food-no water" fast. That should bring a quicker temporary resolution to my existence. As a consequence of the fast, or possibly as an alternative, I hope to get hospitalized by saying things (and doing symbolic actions, if necessary) that would facilitate my admission. This I will do not as a protest of any sort, but simply to obtain a more bearable existence. With my present existence, I don't even have an opportunity to get enough rest or sleep. As I don't have the freedom that I seek, I don't wish to even pretend that I'm free. While I'm condemned to live in this country, I'd have a healthier existence institutionalized rather than out in the street.
In respect of an effort by some friend(s) to seek an employment opportunity for me in Sweden, I have finally prepared a draft of my résumé <- It's available here in the Adobe PDF format. I wish them good luck, but doubt if this path would work, particularly since I'm a stateless refugee without a passport, despite some openness in Swedish government in this regard, as reported in Sveriges Radio
As to what the future holds for me, we'll see it then. Thanks to All!
"Unlike the animals, we are blessed -or cursed- with the ability to think about the future and to fear our actions to shaping it. So essential is this to human life, that human beings cannot live without hope, without something to live for, without something to look forward to."
- Mark Searle in "The Spirit of Advent", Assembly, Volume 7:1
Sorry that I hadn't updated you in a few weeks. There were many changes, but I didn't have the time or the mind to write.
My 3-week resident volunteer stint with a group of nuns expired (as agreed) over 2 weeks ago. Since then I have been staying basically with a different friend each night. On some nights I had to spend several hours riding the Subway trains, as many homeless people here do. I have utilized this need of mine to visit many friends whom I had not visited in a while, and attended to repairing & cleaning of their computers etc. So, it has been mutually productive. Lately, the sleeping arrangements have become smoother thanks to a couple of friends who have openly welcomed me. Some have done so by overstepping their authority on the spaces that are in their custody. I sure hope & pray that no one would have to lie to help me.
Since doing so would stand in the way of helping the many friends and charities that I wish to help, I have decided not to stay in one place anyway. However, this is not an existence that I'm happily looking forward to. As some of my friends have particular technical needs from me, I plan to spend the next 3 or so weeks helping them.
Afterwards, I hope to resume my fast, possibly as a total "no food-no water" fast. That should bring a quicker temporary resolution to my existence. As a consequence of the fast, or possibly as an alternative, I hope to get hospitalized by saying things (and doing symbolic actions, if necessary) that would facilitate my admission. This I will do not as a protest of any sort, but simply to obtain a more bearable existence. With my present existence, I don't even have an opportunity to get enough rest or sleep. As I don't have the freedom that I seek, I don't wish to even pretend that I'm free. While I'm condemned to live in this country, I'd have a healthier existence institutionalized rather than out in the street.
In respect of an effort by some friend(s) to seek an employment opportunity for me in Sweden, I have finally prepared a draft of my résumé <- It's available here in the Adobe PDF format. I wish them good luck, but doubt if this path would work, particularly since I'm a stateless refugee without a passport, despite some openness in Swedish government in this regard, as reported in Sveriges Radio
As to what the future holds for me, we'll see it then. Thanks to All!
"Unlike the animals, we are blessed -or cursed- with the ability to think about the future and to fear our actions to shaping it. So essential is this to human life, that human beings cannot live without hope, without something to live for, without something to look forward to."
- Mark Searle in "The Spirit of Advent", Assembly, Volume 7:1
Sunday, March 16, 2008
Sunday, March 2, 2008
A Lengthy Response
Dear friends,
I had thought that as I prepared for my 7th annual fast near the end of last year, I had said everything that I have to say on this matter. However, as a few friends have approached me seeking my comments on some of their actions on my behalf, very sadly I'm compelled to write again:
(1). Why I suspended the fast:
Having been refused medical care on the 41st day, it was clear to me that the only way I could get hospitalized would be by pretending to be suicidal. While I'd not hesitate to resort to such tactics in the near future as necessary, I decided that this was not the time for it, while the friends were acting on my behalf. This idea came to me as I sat in silence on the 42nd day; I decided to end the fast on the 45th day when I were to attend the Quaker meeting. The temporary life that I envisioned while giving friends' efforts some time, was only as a resident volunteer for the Missionaries of Charity. In fact, I took the decision to end the fast only after talking to these nuns, and receiving their permission to stay. I had hoped that I would be able to stay with them for 2-3 months. Despite them having done me unprecedented great favors, at this point I only have permission to stay 3 (or possibly 4) more weeks with them. I'm not worried about this though, as the Lord shall provide, and that His will be done.
(2). Unknown effort by some friends:
In an interesting coincidence, on that same 42nd day, my friends Maureen H., Margery C. (and perhaps some others) had tried, unsuccessfully, to reach me at the place that I was staying. Unfortunately, instead of just asking to see me, while keeping the details of the situation private, they had revealed too much information to staff members at the place, whose natural response was to place their legal safety first. This resulted in considerable inconvenience to me, as I had to be examined again by a doctor on site on the beginning of the 43rd day, who concluded that a hospital would not admit me. However, this unexpected and unnecessary expenditure of physical and mental energy, together with additional physical efforts to clean and pack my stuff in preparation of my anticipated departure, made me feel quite weak on 44th and 45th days. To be more precise, my heart just couldn't keep up with the physical demands. But that's now history. What these friends tried to do was possibly to get some medical help for me; but the details perhaps would remain unknown to me.
(3). Lorcan Otway's appeal to the Swedish Consulate:
My Friend Lorcan "Larry" Otway has been among the first to write on my behalf to the Swedish Consulate. Please find the details on his Blog site. A few weeks ago, he offered to show me the reply from the Consulate, which I politely refused as I have seen enough of those.
(4). Linda H. contacts Quakers in Sweden:
My Friend Linda H. (perhaps with some others) have contacted a member of the Stockholm Quaker Meeting. While I respect this initiative and commend the Friend in Sweden for the very clear and comprehensive response, it really is an apology for the status quo. The Friend in Stockholm had mentioned, and Linda has gotten excited about, the prospect of me immigrating to Sweden through an employment offer. To make things short, let me quote from my first application to Sweden in April 1999: "Although I could have easily obtained a tourist visa to Sweden based on my academic credentials and travel records(please note the US, UK, and Canadian visas previously held by me), and seek asylum while in Sweden, I chose to follow the path of openness. And at this point I do not wish to enter Sweden by other means such as pre-arranged employment or marriage either." My calling has alway been to try to resettle in Sweden in only one way, to pursue which unbeaten path I was called, regardless of results or consequences. Would a man who so strongly wishes to choose his country, be willing to work for just any employer, whom he has not even heard about or seen? I'd be content to live without a job, or even without freedom, only if I could find the country to call my own. That shall remain my first and foremost need.
Out of respect for friends efforts, however, I shall prepare a résumé in a week or two. Such a resume could perhaps be useful in showing Sweden and UNHCR, the nature of the person to whom they've denied the opportunity to live a dignified life. As to the prospect of finding an employment based opportunity through an employer that's acceptable to me, however, I'd predict that a résumé is likely to be more useful in writing my obituary :-)
Anyone who wishes to advocate for an employment-based path is well advised by me to first find out whether a stateless person (as already acknowledged by Swedish immigration authorities), presently sojourning outside of Sweden in a third-country, would be eligible to receive a Swedish Travel document (a temporary passport) to enter Sweden based on this path of immigration. If the answer to this question is "No", then there's no point in even thinking about this path.
(5). Letter-Writing:
I'm fairly disappointed that, to my knowledge, none of my close friends seem to have knowledge or faith in a letter-writing campaign in the spirit and method of Amnesty International . Perhaps they should search the web. Anyway, it's never expected that the first letter would would elicit a positive response or accomplish anything. However, if the writers' have faith, and not be disheartened by the faces or words of the authorities, something positive could perhaps be accomplished after several dozen letters. But:
Firstly, I have a reasonable prediction that if my friends (just like most other people) consider an effort only when my life is in imminent danger, then most likely nothing will be accomplished while I'm yet alive.
Secondly, to me it's the human dignity, not mere physical existence, that make a human life worthwhile. So, if friends appeal to authorities to just save my body, I cannot say that I'd be very pleased. As for me, knowing that the human body is very temporary, I'd happily die anytime, but it's an unbearable pain and a shame for me to live a life without dignity or equity.
Thirdly, I really wish & hope that friends write letters using their own words, ideas, and feelings. If one is moved to write "shame on you" to authorities, there should be no reason not to. Last Sunday, Margery requested to meet with me today to devise some sample letters. As I have to leave today at 12:15 PM to volunteer at my first refuge since ending the 45-day fast, I'd not be able to meet with her though. That was the source of motivation that made me overcome the writer's block last night. I'll perhaps leave a note for Margery, with how we may perhaps work on this by e-mail or phone. As I see it, the main things to emphasize in a letter would be that:
- I knew even at the time of my first application in 1999, and could easily have entered Sweden on a tourist pretenses, and applied for asylum while there, but chose to be forthright in my application;
- I have been recognized as a UNHCR Mandate refugee (UNHCR ROW# 68859), and that UNHCR Regional Office in Wshington DC even made a resettlement request to Sweden on my Bhalf in November 2001;
- it would be a terrible shame if only the liars, cheaters and manipulators get the privilege of choosing their land of refuge, while a forthright person is condemned to suffer.
As for the addresses and case numbers, they're available near the bottom of the "Status Update" page on my website.
(6). My future involvement:
I wish not be heavily or intimately involved with any efforts that friends might wish to make; not because my desires have changed even a bit. When I stared this quest in 1999, I was ready and willing to be either a pioneer or a martyr, and now (for the last few years) I'd be happy to be a prisoner as well. How and when I may have to make a decision in this regard is pretty much beyond my control, but I'm hoping that I would be able to wait in silence in present lifestyle for a t least a few more weeks.
Thanks to all my friends, and especially to Roman Catholic charity, which in my experience is the strongest manifestation of God's grace in this world, which has sheltered and nourished me, and kept be very busy.
I had thought that as I prepared for my 7th annual fast near the end of last year, I had said everything that I have to say on this matter. However, as a few friends have approached me seeking my comments on some of their actions on my behalf, very sadly I'm compelled to write again:
(1). Why I suspended the fast:
Having been refused medical care on the 41st day, it was clear to me that the only way I could get hospitalized would be by pretending to be suicidal. While I'd not hesitate to resort to such tactics in the near future as necessary, I decided that this was not the time for it, while the friends were acting on my behalf. This idea came to me as I sat in silence on the 42nd day; I decided to end the fast on the 45th day when I were to attend the Quaker meeting. The temporary life that I envisioned while giving friends' efforts some time, was only as a resident volunteer for the Missionaries of Charity. In fact, I took the decision to end the fast only after talking to these nuns, and receiving their permission to stay. I had hoped that I would be able to stay with them for 2-3 months. Despite them having done me unprecedented great favors, at this point I only have permission to stay 3 (or possibly 4) more weeks with them. I'm not worried about this though, as the Lord shall provide, and that His will be done.
(2). Unknown effort by some friends:
In an interesting coincidence, on that same 42nd day, my friends Maureen H., Margery C. (and perhaps some others) had tried, unsuccessfully, to reach me at the place that I was staying. Unfortunately, instead of just asking to see me, while keeping the details of the situation private, they had revealed too much information to staff members at the place, whose natural response was to place their legal safety first. This resulted in considerable inconvenience to me, as I had to be examined again by a doctor on site on the beginning of the 43rd day, who concluded that a hospital would not admit me. However, this unexpected and unnecessary expenditure of physical and mental energy, together with additional physical efforts to clean and pack my stuff in preparation of my anticipated departure, made me feel quite weak on 44th and 45th days. To be more precise, my heart just couldn't keep up with the physical demands. But that's now history. What these friends tried to do was possibly to get some medical help for me; but the details perhaps would remain unknown to me.
(3). Lorcan Otway's appeal to the Swedish Consulate:
My Friend Lorcan "Larry" Otway has been among the first to write on my behalf to the Swedish Consulate. Please find the details on his Blog site. A few weeks ago, he offered to show me the reply from the Consulate, which I politely refused as I have seen enough of those.
(4). Linda H. contacts Quakers in Sweden:
My Friend Linda H. (perhaps with some others) have contacted a member of the Stockholm Quaker Meeting. While I respect this initiative and commend the Friend in Sweden for the very clear and comprehensive response, it really is an apology for the status quo. The Friend in Stockholm had mentioned, and Linda has gotten excited about, the prospect of me immigrating to Sweden through an employment offer. To make things short, let me quote from my first application to Sweden in April 1999: "Although I could have easily obtained a tourist visa to Sweden based on my academic credentials and travel records(please note the US, UK, and Canadian visas previously held by me), and seek asylum while in Sweden, I chose to follow the path of openness. And at this point I do not wish to enter Sweden by other means such as pre-arranged employment or marriage either." My calling has alway been to try to resettle in Sweden in only one way, to pursue which unbeaten path I was called, regardless of results or consequences. Would a man who so strongly wishes to choose his country, be willing to work for just any employer, whom he has not even heard about or seen? I'd be content to live without a job, or even without freedom, only if I could find the country to call my own. That shall remain my first and foremost need.
Out of respect for friends efforts, however, I shall prepare a résumé in a week or two. Such a resume could perhaps be useful in showing Sweden and UNHCR, the nature of the person to whom they've denied the opportunity to live a dignified life. As to the prospect of finding an employment based opportunity through an employer that's acceptable to me, however, I'd predict that a résumé is likely to be more useful in writing my obituary :-)
Anyone who wishes to advocate for an employment-based path is well advised by me to first find out whether a stateless person (as already acknowledged by Swedish immigration authorities), presently sojourning outside of Sweden in a third-country, would be eligible to receive a Swedish Travel document (a temporary passport) to enter Sweden based on this path of immigration. If the answer to this question is "No", then there's no point in even thinking about this path.
(5). Letter-Writing:
I'm fairly disappointed that, to my knowledge, none of my close friends seem to have knowledge or faith in a letter-writing campaign in the spirit and method of Amnesty International . Perhaps they should search the web. Anyway, it's never expected that the first letter would would elicit a positive response or accomplish anything. However, if the writers' have faith, and not be disheartened by the faces or words of the authorities, something positive could perhaps be accomplished after several dozen letters. But:
Firstly, I have a reasonable prediction that if my friends (just like most other people) consider an effort only when my life is in imminent danger, then most likely nothing will be accomplished while I'm yet alive.
Secondly, to me it's the human dignity, not mere physical existence, that make a human life worthwhile. So, if friends appeal to authorities to just save my body, I cannot say that I'd be very pleased. As for me, knowing that the human body is very temporary, I'd happily die anytime, but it's an unbearable pain and a shame for me to live a life without dignity or equity.
Thirdly, I really wish & hope that friends write letters using their own words, ideas, and feelings. If one is moved to write "shame on you" to authorities, there should be no reason not to. Last Sunday, Margery requested to meet with me today to devise some sample letters. As I have to leave today at 12:15 PM to volunteer at my first refuge since ending the 45-day fast, I'd not be able to meet with her though. That was the source of motivation that made me overcome the writer's block last night. I'll perhaps leave a note for Margery, with how we may perhaps work on this by e-mail or phone. As I see it, the main things to emphasize in a letter would be that:
- I knew even at the time of my first application in 1999, and could easily have entered Sweden on a tourist pretenses, and applied for asylum while there, but chose to be forthright in my application;
- I have been recognized as a UNHCR Mandate refugee (UNHCR ROW# 68859), and that UNHCR Regional Office in Wshington DC even made a resettlement request to Sweden on my Bhalf in November 2001;
- it would be a terrible shame if only the liars, cheaters and manipulators get the privilege of choosing their land of refuge, while a forthright person is condemned to suffer.
As for the addresses and case numbers, they're available near the bottom of the "Status Update" page on my website.
(6). My future involvement:
I wish not be heavily or intimately involved with any efforts that friends might wish to make; not because my desires have changed even a bit. When I stared this quest in 1999, I was ready and willing to be either a pioneer or a martyr, and now (for the last few years) I'd be happy to be a prisoner as well. How and when I may have to make a decision in this regard is pretty much beyond my control, but I'm hoping that I would be able to wait in silence in present lifestyle for a t least a few more weeks.
Thanks to all my friends, and especially to Roman Catholic charity, which in my experience is the strongest manifestation of God's grace in this world, which has sheltered and nourished me, and kept be very busy.
Sunday, February 24, 2008
Back to a busy life
Dear friends,
I didn't get a chance to update the previous week's note; I had gotten into a new volunteering routine. I spent about half of last week helping at home, including quite a few tasks of repair and maintenance in addition to cooking and cleaning, and went out to volunteer at the office of a Catholic church 3 days. I couldn't reject the request of a friendly pastor to take charge of his office work (including weekly bulletin, accounting & payroll) until he finds a replacement for the staff member who left last week. This work should keep me busy for the next few weeks. I'll also be moving this Tuesday - to another Missionaries of Charity house in the Bronx. I hope to be there for about 3 weeks. As I'll have to travel a lot between the new home in Bronx, the church in mid-Manhattan, and the old home in lower West-side, I'll be having a tight schedule that can be maintained only by using public transportation.
Thanks to the availability of wonderful nutritious and healthy food at my present home, in just 2 weeks I have regained much of the weight and strength lost during the 7 weeks of fasting.
I have caught a glimpse of what some concerned friends have done on my behalf, and in the coming week I should definitely spend some time to read the details, thank and comment. Thanks again for your concern and support!
I didn't get a chance to update the previous week's note; I had gotten into a new volunteering routine. I spent about half of last week helping at home, including quite a few tasks of repair and maintenance in addition to cooking and cleaning, and went out to volunteer at the office of a Catholic church 3 days. I couldn't reject the request of a friendly pastor to take charge of his office work (including weekly bulletin, accounting & payroll) until he finds a replacement for the staff member who left last week. This work should keep me busy for the next few weeks. I'll also be moving this Tuesday - to another Missionaries of Charity house in the Bronx. I hope to be there for about 3 weeks. As I'll have to travel a lot between the new home in Bronx, the church in mid-Manhattan, and the old home in lower West-side, I'll be having a tight schedule that can be maintained only by using public transportation.
Thanks to the availability of wonderful nutritious and healthy food at my present home, in just 2 weeks I have regained much of the weight and strength lost during the 7 weeks of fasting.
I have caught a glimpse of what some concerned friends have done on my behalf, and in the coming week I should definitely spend some time to read the details, thank and comment. Thanks again for your concern and support!
Sunday, February 17, 2008
Greetings
Dear friends,
Last Sunday, I was so physically overwhelmed that I didn't have the energy to give details. This is what happened leading up to last Sunday: On the 42nd day of the fast, while sitting in silence alone, I came to the realization that the fast may be getting to be too long. (Medical help was not forthcoming, even as of the 43rd day.) By an interesting coincidence, the same day, a small group of concerned friends had decided to come to the place that I was staying, looking for me. But they failed to find me until I called them to inform of my decision to suspend the fast on the 45th day, when I'd be going to the Quaker worship. I also contacted a group of Missionaries of Charity nuns and received their welcoming permission to come stay at their house of hospitality while I recuperate. As I was cleaning up and packing my stuff in anticipation of moving out, I reached the limits of endurance. On the 45th day, my heart was too overwhelmed to provide me with the needed energy. But I still managed to make it to the Quaker Meetinghouse and break the fast there, but needed a gracious friend's help to accompany me and my stuff to my new temporary home.
After getting much needed bed rest, I felt much better in a few hours, and was feeling back to normal the following morning. ( I have been gradually eating - now eat everything - will edit this and write more details in a few hours. Feeling very normal and strong - even walked 30 minutes easily this morning. So don't worry; be happy. Thanks Friends!
Last Sunday, I was so physically overwhelmed that I didn't have the energy to give details. This is what happened leading up to last Sunday: On the 42nd day of the fast, while sitting in silence alone, I came to the realization that the fast may be getting to be too long. (Medical help was not forthcoming, even as of the 43rd day.) By an interesting coincidence, the same day, a small group of concerned friends had decided to come to the place that I was staying, looking for me. But they failed to find me until I called them to inform of my decision to suspend the fast on the 45th day, when I'd be going to the Quaker worship. I also contacted a group of Missionaries of Charity nuns and received their welcoming permission to come stay at their house of hospitality while I recuperate. As I was cleaning up and packing my stuff in anticipation of moving out, I reached the limits of endurance. On the 45th day, my heart was too overwhelmed to provide me with the needed energy. But I still managed to make it to the Quaker Meetinghouse and break the fast there, but needed a gracious friend's help to accompany me and my stuff to my new temporary home.
After getting much needed bed rest, I felt much better in a few hours, and was feeling back to normal the following morning. ( I have been gradually eating - now eat everything - will edit this and write more details in a few hours. Feeling very normal and strong - even walked 30 minutes easily this morning. So don't worry; be happy. Thanks Friends!
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