Lament not for me but for this world

Dear Friends,

In just over a week, I plan to retreat as I mentioned previously. Some concerned friends of mine are trying alternate approaches to Sweden on their own, but I doubt of any breakthrough; most likely, it will be too little, too late.

A week ago, I had an interesting and soul-searching conversation over lunch with Araxie, the daughter of a survivor of the World War I Armenian Genocide. As several interesting issues, some of which have been raised by others over the years and had been thought about and responded to by me, all occurred during this conversation, I thought I should mention those here:

Araxie recalled how while growing up as a refugee in Lebanon, they found comfort in being together with their families. I was glad to hear that. While ethnic refugees are able to get on with their lives thru’ such extended support systems of peers, it’s much harder for a political refugee with a strong conscience to relate to a land with a diametrically opposite political profile.

Mention was made of several of her American friends who work marginally as tax protesters. Such a life style has no appeal to me for many reasons:
- I have no birth, family or other connection to this country, that I would have to somehow find a way to tolerate or attempt to change this;
- I prefer not to break the laws (tax laws included). There are many people who enjoy breaking laws for the sake of protest; I’m not one;
- I wish & dream to live my life to the fullest where my heart is; not marginally elsewhere.

Lastly, she lamented that I’ve been doing good things for others but not for myself. I disagreed, and pointed out that as much as I do the best for the others, I wouldn’t want to settle for anything less than the best for my heart & soul, and hence I keep holding on.

Even while being homeless and sleep-deprived I still find time and mind to do good to others. Indeed, today I donated blood for the 50th time (38 in NYC, 8 in Seattle, 4 in New Orleans).

If the world could be at least half as generous to me as I’m to it, then instead of writing these, I’d be doing something much more beneficial for me, my family & the world. Lament not for me but for this world.